Are today’s kids really that selfish?
Dutch youngsters today are materialistic thrill seekers who feel uninvolved with society at large, a new survey-based book, Limitless Generation, claims.
Young people have become increasingly obsessed by looks, status, comfort, thrills and money over the last decade. Hedonism and individualism are on the rise while interest in society at large and the environment are waning, sociologists Frits Spangenberg and Martijn Lampert found. They based their findings on 25 years of research and thousands of hours worth of interviews.
At the same time kids are looking for guidance, the study found. “School offers young people less and less structure. And exerting authority has become taboo for parents,” said Spangenberg. “Adults have come to see children as partners at the negotiating table.
What do you think? Is it just a case of every new generation of adults complaining about “kids these days”? Or has there been a fundamental change in the way young people conduct themselves in the world? If so, whose fault is it? Are the parents to blame?
Wednesday 2 December 2009, 23:24
Blame? Isn’t it parents’ RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that their children enjoy the best possible upbringing? Does this not include educating them on tolerance, empathy, social skills, and an acute awareness of what goes on in the world that surrounds them?
On the other hand, at some point during the process of children turning into adults, they must be able to think and act for themselves, and consequently assume their own responsibility therein.
Thus, there is no clear-cut answer to the question whether one or the other party can be held integrally responsible for the conduct of young people currently in the 15-24 year age bracket.
What I am however absolutely convinced of, is what can be observed all around us in daily life. Many people in the aforementioned age bracket are uninterested in, and often even ignorant of what is going on around them, ranging from current affairs (national and international), politics, economics, humanitarian and environmental developments, and, simply put, other people.
My personal belief is that “youngsters” nowadays suffer from shell-shock from (commercial) information bombardment, as a result of which they have either lost or never fully developed the ability to function as well-rounded individuals can be expected to.
Furthermore, many of their parents have found themselves facing a reality that idealises material achievement. As a result, often both parents (“are forced to”) work to sustain and preferably expand their “standard of living” and “quality of life”, or rather, what both of those expressions have become to represent over the years.
Inevitable consequence thereof being that they are less intensively involved in the upbringing of their children, either in terms of the number of hours spent together as a family, or the (left-over) energy invested in child education in the aforementioned broad sense of the word.
At least in this sense, children cannot be “blamed” for seeking out alternative role models, and the ones they are naturally attracted to are well designed by commercial marketing machines and broadcast extremely effectively through mass multi-media.
Thursday 3 December 2009, 15:40
As I said, competition is taught. I spoke with a former football player of the first of Sparta, who is a trainer. There was one good player in his team who although critisized some of the others too much who as a result became insecure. I also heard there are sometimes tensions in the club, not particularly on the field, in a sense that small groups are being formed outside, affecting it. Children are born with their own identity, said visual artist Henk Mommaas. He gave his life for this principle. He told his son that identity is not taught but given, which can only be revealed by the individual when and how he chooses, or not at all. I even kind of protested once to him, who enjoyed the timeless quality of Maya culture, that in fact children are not to be taught by their parents but the other way round, and this is often how parents are brought together.
But they often aren’t.
Saturday 5 December 2009, 14:26
I would not blame our children/youth but the system. It’s the political leadership to be blamed and then those who have been are involved in the educational policies.
As its their responsibility to adopt the realistic approach during the globalization process of our societies. What ever is happening around the globe and then arranged by media,effects the minds and harts of the public and especially our kids.
Living in a new multicultural environment the very first task of the ‘opinion makers’ is to develop positive attitude of acceptance and respect of each others ethnicity,religion,culture and then to let them to know and understand about the poverty,hunger and other social and environmental threats to their fellow human beings on this planet, which would help them to reject materialism,selfishness etc.
We need discipline at our educational institutions,which have been deliberately removed by the authorities which means no respect for the teaching staff,parents,fellow citizens!!
In this country we need once again A Compulsory National Service System,enabling the youth to serve for at least a year under restrict discipline,understanding each other’s culture and values.This would help to minimize increasing crimes among the youth and then to become law abiding generations.
School Uniform has to come back which would not only help the parents financially but will be a source of harmony and equality.
There is no other way but to re-start the compulsory national service (or whatever appropriate name it might be).
Monday 7 December 2009, 18:27
As long as the USA rule the world, American ethics are enforced everywhere. Our children learn to be selfish from television. A great number of children’s programs about American high schools are broadcast in the Netherlands, teaching our kids that American greediness and shallow egotism are the norm. Clever kids are no longer appreciated, but called ‘nerds’ or ‘geeks’ or ‘dorks.’ The American Valley girl is becoming a role model, teaching our maidens to be spoiled, demanding, shallow, bored by everything and predictably boring about everything.
If only we ban American tv series (and American stations by Viacom like MTV and TMF) from Dutch television and start making children’s programs ourselves, the trend can be reversed.
PS. A related irritation: Seeing that this year Saint Nicolas wears an American baseball cap instead of a mitre shows the mindlessness of Americanization. Americans hate the blackface of Zwarte Piet, interpreting it as the epitome of racism. But do we take that sentiment into account as we give Sinterklaas an American make-over? No, the racism stays. A baseball cap should do the job of turning the Sinterklaas into an American.
Monday 7 December 2009, 20:07
Kids can be selfish and need to be taught that what you give you get back threefold. Until, however, they have kids of their own, it is not a lesson they often understand. Even many adults do not comprehend this or have any faith in it. In the materialistic mess of this world, greed is apparently righteous. It is righteous in a false way. You can lose all your material goods easily and they can be replaced, but you cannot bring back family and friends once they have gone. Get a piece of paper out and write down what you need and what your want. Your wants can wait. Your needs you fulfill. The Golden Rule is not dead and once you love your brother as yourself, your selfish ways will dissapate. These lessons come with faith and experience often realized after one is a mom or dad themselves.
Wednesday 9 December 2009, 21:30
1.Americans do not interpret the zwarte piet as racist…
once they learn the history of Dutch X-mas.
2. Television sucks here
Wednesday 16 December 2009, 22:48
A Dutch version of the *Peace Corps* might just do them a world of good. Many young people in this country (for many years already, one of the richest countries in the world) are already having the opportunities to travel & see the world but travelling & working for a year or two abroad for the benefit of the less fortunate in the Third World countries might just help them to broaden their perspectives and help create a whole new generation of *wereldburgers* (citizens of the world).
Sunday 24 January 2010, 0:11
I think the problems which the dutch children are facing are not confined to Holland. Its happening in every ‘developed’ country. People are getting more and more selfish, with little regards to the society at large.
Sunday 24 January 2010, 0:19
When you catch yourself complaining about “children these days”, “young people these days”, doesn’t this just mean you are turning into a lame old guy / whining old lady? Did not our parents or grandparents have the same complaints and won’t it always be the same?